ACTIVE LISTENING WORKSHEET

The two elements that give communication meaning are content and feeling.  Misunderstanding in communication often occurs because we forget that meanings are in people, not in words.  Active listening deals with both the contents of the message and its underlying feeling.

The communication skill of active listening helps the listener to help the sender communicate more effectively. To be effective, the listener takes responsibility for understanding the content and feeling of what is being said. To demonstrate this responsibility, the listener restates what seems to be the content of the sender’s message. By feeding back perceptions of intended meaning, the listener checks the accuracy of the listening and understanding.

Active listening communicates messages such as:

·                    I understand what you are saying.

·                    I sense what you are feeling.

·                    I am interested and concerned.

·                    I accept you as a person.

·                    I respect your ideas.

·                    I believe you have a contribution to make.

·                    I am not trying to evaluate or change you.

The sender will be more open to a listener who communicates these messages. Any sign of lack of acceptance will cause the sender to move to a more protected, defensive position.

Active listening requires the listener to:

1.       Hear what the sender has to say. Because this takes time, a definite schedule is important.

2.       Accept the person. True acceptance of those with whom you differ in opinions, values, feelings, or viewpoint takes time to develop and requires giving up some personal “shoulds.”

3.       Remember that opinions, values, feelings, and viewpoints are usually transitory. The listener’s goal is to understand, not to judge.

Benefits of Active Listening

Active listening creates an open climate for understanding. By learning to identify what a sender means and how the sender feels about situations and problems, the listener can communicate acceptance and create a sense of trust. The appropriate use of active listening increases communication effectiveness. The active listener should:

·                    Avoid using active listening as a means to manipulate the thinking or behavior of others

·                    Refrain from simply “parroting” the sender’s message

·                    Allow enough time for the active listening interview

·                    Try to empathize with the feelings of the sender

·                    Be sensitive to nonverbal messages to choose the right time to give feedback.

Basic Techniques of Active Listening

1        Open the door.

·                    Open-ended questions begin with:  Who?  What?  When?  Why? 

·                    How? Tell me about...

2.       Keep the door open.

·                    Tell me more about that

·                    Very interesting

·                    Let’s hear some more about ...

·                    Sounds like you have an opinion there ...

·                    Let’s discuss it.  (Nod affirmatively.)

3.       Not closing the Door.

·                    Avoid closed-ended questions beginning with:

          Did...  Should...  Could...  Have...  Are...  Is

·                    Avoid passing judgments, criticisms

·                    Avoid distractions, humor diversion, withdrawal

·                    Avoid lecturing, teaching, arguing

·                    Avoid analyzing, diagnosing, interrogating.